Changed to blogspot again. Goodbye Tumblr.
I have always loved the month of December. Firstly, CHRISTMAS falls on the 25th, love’s birthday falls on the 28th, secondly, there will be Christmas parties and gifts exchanges and lastly, 31st marks the end of 2010.
This year has been a bad and painful year for me, mainly due to my health issues. There were also many dark moments throughout this whole year. I remembered the period between June and July, was the darkest and most agonizing one. Ask if I was under depression, I would say yes. I have never expected anything like this to happen to me, yet by the grace of God, I’ve pulled through it.
Yup, everything seemed to be so tragic till I’ve almost wanted to commit suicide not once but many times. Still, God is a good God and life has to go on. Every day I would pray that He would deliver me from the situation and also putting the right people in my life whom will bring me closer to Him. Slowly but surely, God started to change my life around. My relationship with my mum has gotten much closer and with SK, he is the greatest gift from God. He could just easily walk out on me but he never chooses to do so. Instead, he is always there to give me comfort, support and love. Till now, he still insists that he loves me more than I love him. What a silly boy.
Besides, God has found me a job with a reasonable pay, with good colleagues and bosses. Although my life is not perfect yet, there are many things that God has given to me which I am very grateful of. All I can do now is continue to pray and believe that I will eventually receive my healing from God. Amen.
Oh, I can’t wait, I can’t wait!!
· On the 23rd, there will be a Christmas party at the site office for the whole company.
· We will be celebrating love’s birthday with all his friends on the 17th at St James Power Station.
· 25th will be for church service at expo.
· Birthday lunch with love, his family and relatives at Tavolo on the 26th.
· The Jewel Box at mount Faber with love after work on the 27th.
· Picnic lunch probably either at the botanic garden or ECP on the 28th, love’s actual birthday.
· 31st counting down with love and maybe together with his friends at MBS.
How not to be excited man?!?!
Things I want to tell you.
*I don’t get angry easily or for long, but when I’m hurt, it’s a different story.
*I can wait but will you spare a thought for me?
*I know you well enough to know what your intention is.
*I do not need your apologizes, what I do need is your understanding.
*You do not know what I go through every single day.
*I have doubts now.
*I have no strength and mood to fight with you. I have no words to say to you too.
*We could have a good day ahead, if only you know what to do and say to me.
*I’m tired of trying.
*I do not have a perfect lover but in many ways, he is perfect for me. *
AN-G: So how long have you been together with your bf?
Me: Erm, 3 years plus?
AN-G: Oh. And he did not leave you because of your health condition? That’s very good. Nowadays very hard to find a faithful lover.
Me: Yea.. He has always been there for me. (Thinking in my heart -In fact, I feel that he has loved me much more than before.)
You know, randomly I would like to ask him this question, “Do you think I love you more, or you love me more? I think I love you more leh.” And every time he would answer with a gusto saying, “Of course I love you more than you love me.”
And randomly, he would like to remind me that how much his parents dote on me. I will not go to details on how much they do but really, I thank God for their love and understanding. Yet, if you think that both of us have never face any prosecution from his family side, you are wrong. I remember once at the initial stage of our relationship, SK told me that his mum sneered at him and said that we would not last longer than 2 months. And on the first time of meeting with SK’s relatives, SK told me that he saw his uncle asking his dad if we are gonna be “long-term” and his father shook his head. That was pretty nasty huh? But I’m glad that SK and I have braved through all these ‘shit”. Now, I’m pretty close to his parents and his relatives.
I really think that finding acceptance from your lover’s family is very important. A relationship does not involve the couple only but everyone else around. I really do not wanna see my husband being sandwiched between me and his mum if we do not get along well. It’s heartbreaking lah you know, I guess, watch those channel 8 dramas and you will know.
